Oceanic

Sometimes I just can't help wondering WHY the hell the girls who really look like boys, dress like boys and behave boyishly (and my mom call me pathetic coz i wear j.lo jeans and hoodies all the time) are moving in with their boyfriends at 19 and I am single (not just *single* - not a single boy in this whole (huge) town think i worth a single glance)???
Honestly speaking, most of the time I have the answer right away: because I am self-centered, spoilt, shy, not quite socially gifted and feel really disturbed when being looked at by strangers. Because there are times when i really hate myself and they say you are not supposed to get a boyfriend until you love yourself. I am just too complicated for what people call "relationship". But, hey, if I'm not going to get married, there are still millions of kids in the orphanages who really need a Mommy, so I will still be able to have a child at least. That's what I really want more than any boyfrind/husband.